Day 1: What Do You Regret The Most?
I try not to live my life with regrets or focusing on past actions. If my part mistakes helped me to better me in any way... I can't regret them. With that being said, I don't really have any regrets in life. If I could go back & change the way I handled a few situations/people, I most definitely would. But I've made peace with those things & asked for forgiveness from those people. That's all I can do. Moving forward!
~ Jay
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Back at it!!!
Ok guys... I've been M.I.A for a little while but I found a new blog challenge list that I LOVE! So... I'm going to attempt this once again. I can assure you that it won't be a daily thing. I'm a single mother... Who just went back to school via online classes (shoot me now, please!) Anyhoo, I will try to stay as updated as possible but I definitely want to finish this one.
Ok, Day 1: Five ways to win your heart
Hmmm, not sure if I should give away all the secrets, but... Oh well. FYI: I would never ask for something that I'm not willing to give in return.
1. BE A GODLY MAN... <~~~ this is the key to any great friendship/relationship so, if you don't have God in your life... It won't work with me or anyone else for that matter. I am just know realizing how important it is to have someone who is on the same page spiritually. Had I really understood this before, I would have saved myself a lot of headaches.
2. BE GENUINE!!!!! Please don't put on facades or pretend to be someone you're not. Don't sell the real you short by trying to be the man you THINK I want. I'm older/wiser & while I do APPRECIATE the finer things in life, I live for the simple everyday things.
3. BE INTELLIGENT!!! <~~~ nothing is more attractive to me than a man that challenges me!!! I need someone that I can talk to about more than tv shows & sports (although I AM a huge Yankees & Cowboys fan!)
4. BE ASSERTIVE!! Anyone that knows me, knows that I am a very headstrong, opinionated woman. I don't bite my tongue or hold back my feelings & I don't expect it in return. I have yet to find someone that can put me in my place w/o trying to control me & the same time. Still looking....
5. BE PATIENT. I am a single mother. Therefore, I'm not just picking someone good enough for me, but someone that I trust around my child. It's a process, so patience is a necessity.
~Jay
Ok, Day 1: Five ways to win your heart
Hmmm, not sure if I should give away all the secrets, but... Oh well. FYI: I would never ask for something that I'm not willing to give in return.
1. BE A GODLY MAN... <~~~ this is the key to any great friendship/relationship so, if you don't have God in your life... It won't work with me or anyone else for that matter. I am just know realizing how important it is to have someone who is on the same page spiritually. Had I really understood this before, I would have saved myself a lot of headaches.
2. BE GENUINE!!!!! Please don't put on facades or pretend to be someone you're not. Don't sell the real you short by trying to be the man you THINK I want. I'm older/wiser & while I do APPRECIATE the finer things in life, I live for the simple everyday things.
3. BE INTELLIGENT!!! <~~~ nothing is more attractive to me than a man that challenges me!!! I need someone that I can talk to about more than tv shows & sports (although I AM a huge Yankees & Cowboys fan!)
4. BE ASSERTIVE!! Anyone that knows me, knows that I am a very headstrong, opinionated woman. I don't bite my tongue or hold back my feelings & I don't expect it in return. I have yet to find someone that can put me in my place w/o trying to control me & the same time. Still looking....
5. BE PATIENT. I am a single mother. Therefore, I'm not just picking someone good enough for me, but someone that I trust around my child. It's a process, so patience is a necessity.
~Jay
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
30 days of truth
Ok, so after writing that last blog, I decided that I didn't like that blog challenge list. So I went & looked up the 30 Days of Truth list again. I am on Day 6 because I did Days 1-5 previously (keep scrolling!) lol. So here we go!
Day 6- Something You Hope You Never Have To Do
This is a no-brainer for any parent. I pray that I never have to bury my child. I know several people who have gone through that. I am also reading Heaven is For Real (awesome book based on a true story btw). As I was reading the first two chapters & read how these parents went through turmoil while literally watching their son wither away, I was bawling!!! I mean, I wasn't just crying, I had snot & the crying "hiccups" (you know the little pauses when you cry & can't speak normally? Those.) It made me break down because although I've seen others go through it & felt saddened for them... It still seems surreal to me. I just can't fathom it even though I've seen it happen. I don't know if that makes sense, but... That's how I feel. I pray over & for my son daily. I prayed for him before he entered this world. I thank God for trusting me with raising him & for the time he has already given me with him. I know that life is uncertain & tomorrow is not promised to anyone, not even children. I worked in the medical field for years. One of my favorite patients was a little boy who had a brain tumor. This kid had the brightest smile & the sweetest spirit! He could have complained about his situation. He could have complained about not feeling well or wanting to be "normal" & not spend all his time being pricked & prodded in a hospital for months. But he did none of that. Every time I saw him, he was happy. It made my problems seem so trivial.
I would not wish losing a child on my worst enemy. It just seems unnatural & out of order to me. This is my greatest fear. I think it's any parents greatest fear. On the other hand, I take the time now to spend with my son. I am grateful for each day with him. I want him to know that he is loved every day that he is here on this Earth.
~Jay
Day 6- Something You Hope You Never Have To Do
This is a no-brainer for any parent. I pray that I never have to bury my child. I know several people who have gone through that. I am also reading Heaven is For Real (awesome book based on a true story btw). As I was reading the first two chapters & read how these parents went through turmoil while literally watching their son wither away, I was bawling!!! I mean, I wasn't just crying, I had snot & the crying "hiccups" (you know the little pauses when you cry & can't speak normally? Those.) It made me break down because although I've seen others go through it & felt saddened for them... It still seems surreal to me. I just can't fathom it even though I've seen it happen. I don't know if that makes sense, but... That's how I feel. I pray over & for my son daily. I prayed for him before he entered this world. I thank God for trusting me with raising him & for the time he has already given me with him. I know that life is uncertain & tomorrow is not promised to anyone, not even children. I worked in the medical field for years. One of my favorite patients was a little boy who had a brain tumor. This kid had the brightest smile & the sweetest spirit! He could have complained about his situation. He could have complained about not feeling well or wanting to be "normal" & not spend all his time being pricked & prodded in a hospital for months. But he did none of that. Every time I saw him, he was happy. It made my problems seem so trivial.
I would not wish losing a child on my worst enemy. It just seems unnatural & out of order to me. This is my greatest fear. I think it's any parents greatest fear. On the other hand, I take the time now to spend with my son. I am grateful for each day with him. I want him to know that he is loved every day that he is here on this Earth.
~Jay
30 Day blog ~~ Day 5
Ok I skipped because I did the other days previously. So, if you're interested, just keep scrolling down. Anyhoo, Day 5 is a song that inspires you.... I am in love with music. I wake up singing. I go to sleep singing. When I'm not singing, I'm writing songs/lyrics. To pick one song that inspires me is like taking a kid in a candy store & telling them to just pick one thing! Nonetheless, I have chosen a song! It is called Every Day by Rascal Flatts & it's a country song. Lol. (if you haven't heard it, go youtube it then come back!) For some reason, I'm not supposed to listen to country because I'm African-American. Well, I'm most definitely a Southern girl & I have found that country songs have some of the most beautiful lyrics in them. Back to the song: I'll give you some of the lyrics...
You could have bowed out, but you didn't. You knew enough to know to leave well enough alone but you wouldn't. I come around all broken down & crowded out & you're a comfort. Sometimes the place I go is so deep & dark & desperate... I don't know. I don't know how every day you save my life!
This song brings me to tears every time I listen to it... Everyone goes through things in life & I'm not knocking whatever you've been through. However, I don't think a person can understand the gravity of these lyrics & how a single person can literally "save your life" every day until you've been at the lowest point of your life & had someone reach out to you & show you that you matter to them. That they won't let you go... It's an amazing feeling! You know that God put that person there at the right moment just for you. I can't even begin to thank the people in my life that helped me through the roughest times in my life. If you are reading this, just know that I love & appreciate each of you. And I sincerely hope that if (God forbid) the opportunity ever presents itself to return the favor, that I am alive & able to do it!
Ok, I have to end this blog now because I'm in tears. But I must say this before I go, take the time to REALLY love the people in your life because at the end of the day, that's all that matters. Don't just fb/tweet/text them... Spend face time with them. Tell them that you love them. My family/friends don't really say we love each other a lot. I know that we all do but people need to hear it too... Even if you do show it daily. Send a random letter/email to a friend to just encourage them. Smile at a stranger & tell them to have a great day! You never know what people have going on & what they aren't sharing with you. You could be that person to "save their life". Random (and intentional) acts of kindness go a long way!! I'm a firm believer of that. My glass is always half full because I've been on the completely empty side. Now, even the worst days are great days. Happiness is a choice & only you can make the decision to live a grateful & happy life! If you are reading this, please know that no matter what you have going on in life, God will never give you more than you can bear. He makes no mistakes & when you come out of your situation (and you WILL come out!), you will be a much better man/woman for having gone through it. I can vouch for that in every way. Have faith. Be strong & courageous! This too shall pass!
~Jay
You could have bowed out, but you didn't. You knew enough to know to leave well enough alone but you wouldn't. I come around all broken down & crowded out & you're a comfort. Sometimes the place I go is so deep & dark & desperate... I don't know. I don't know how every day you save my life!
This song brings me to tears every time I listen to it... Everyone goes through things in life & I'm not knocking whatever you've been through. However, I don't think a person can understand the gravity of these lyrics & how a single person can literally "save your life" every day until you've been at the lowest point of your life & had someone reach out to you & show you that you matter to them. That they won't let you go... It's an amazing feeling! You know that God put that person there at the right moment just for you. I can't even begin to thank the people in my life that helped me through the roughest times in my life. If you are reading this, just know that I love & appreciate each of you. And I sincerely hope that if (God forbid) the opportunity ever presents itself to return the favor, that I am alive & able to do it!
Ok, I have to end this blog now because I'm in tears. But I must say this before I go, take the time to REALLY love the people in your life because at the end of the day, that's all that matters. Don't just fb/tweet/text them... Spend face time with them. Tell them that you love them. My family/friends don't really say we love each other a lot. I know that we all do but people need to hear it too... Even if you do show it daily. Send a random letter/email to a friend to just encourage them. Smile at a stranger & tell them to have a great day! You never know what people have going on & what they aren't sharing with you. You could be that person to "save their life". Random (and intentional) acts of kindness go a long way!! I'm a firm believer of that. My glass is always half full because I've been on the completely empty side. Now, even the worst days are great days. Happiness is a choice & only you can make the decision to live a grateful & happy life! If you are reading this, please know that no matter what you have going on in life, God will never give you more than you can bear. He makes no mistakes & when you come out of your situation (and you WILL come out!), you will be a much better man/woman for having gone through it. I can vouch for that in every way. Have faith. Be strong & courageous! This too shall pass!
~Jay
Monday, July 2, 2012
The dreaded topic!! O_O
Ok, so I've FINALLY decided to address the subject that has been brought up to me countless times by single mothers (even before I joined the crew!): DATING!!! My advice has definitely changed over the years... So I think I'll just do a quick Q&A response to some of the main questions I've been asked...
1. When is the right time to start dating?
- Simple answer here: When you are EMOTIONALLY ready. I don't care how long or short of a timeframe it's been, when you're really ready, you'll know. Personally, I gave myself a year. It's been longer than that but only because I'm so freakin picky.
2. When should I bring a new person around my child?
- Again, when you feel ready BUT I will say this... Children are very aware & attached even when we think they aren't. You don't want your kids suffering because of your mistakes. Make sure it's right first.
3. Should I tell my BD/BM/ex about the new guy?
- If it's serious, then certainly. This person will be around their child. It is only right that they have the opportunity to meet this person (notice I used the word meet not approve! At the end of the day, they may not like them but as long as you do... Do you really care?)
4- Should I move in with my new guy?
-Again, the decision is all yours but I would not move someone in unless I was sure that this is the person I wanted to be with (in other words, he's proposed, the wedding is planned & paid for, & we are standing at the altar saying I do.) I'm a bit old-fashioned but I'm speaking from experience.
5- Should I allow my child to call the new person mom/dad?
- This is the toughest topic for me. I'm always torn on this topic. But my concluded answer is to allow your child to make that decision. Don't force them to call anyone mom/dad especially if their biological parents are in their lives. However, I know of several blended families in which the children call the stepparents mom/dad or a similar name (pops, mommy 2, etc) & it works fine for them... So whatever floats your boat!
~Jay
1. When is the right time to start dating?
- Simple answer here: When you are EMOTIONALLY ready. I don't care how long or short of a timeframe it's been, when you're really ready, you'll know. Personally, I gave myself a year. It's been longer than that but only because I'm so freakin picky.
2. When should I bring a new person around my child?
- Again, when you feel ready BUT I will say this... Children are very aware & attached even when we think they aren't. You don't want your kids suffering because of your mistakes. Make sure it's right first.
3. Should I tell my BD/BM/ex about the new guy?
- If it's serious, then certainly. This person will be around their child. It is only right that they have the opportunity to meet this person (notice I used the word meet not approve! At the end of the day, they may not like them but as long as you do... Do you really care?)
4- Should I move in with my new guy?
-Again, the decision is all yours but I would not move someone in unless I was sure that this is the person I wanted to be with (in other words, he's proposed, the wedding is planned & paid for, & we are standing at the altar saying I do.) I'm a bit old-fashioned but I'm speaking from experience.
5- Should I allow my child to call the new person mom/dad?
- This is the toughest topic for me. I'm always torn on this topic. But my concluded answer is to allow your child to make that decision. Don't force them to call anyone mom/dad especially if their biological parents are in their lives. However, I know of several blended families in which the children call the stepparents mom/dad or a similar name (pops, mommy 2, etc) & it works fine for them... So whatever floats your boat!
~Jay
30 day blog challenge
Day 2~~ Nicknames
At this age, I only have two nicknames. Jay/J~~~ my first name starts with a J. Also, Nay~~~ my middle name is Renee.
That's about it in the nicknames department. I do have several titles: friend, sister, auntie, daughter, godmommy, manager, associate, student, etc... But my absolute favorite title is MOMMY! : )
~Jay
At this age, I only have two nicknames. Jay/J~~~ my first name starts with a J. Also, Nay~~~ my middle name is Renee.
That's about it in the nicknames department. I do have several titles: friend, sister, auntie, daughter, godmommy, manager, associate, student, etc... But my absolute favorite title is MOMMY! : )
~Jay
July 30 Day Blog Challenge
Ok... I'm trying this yet again!! I'm also doing the 30 day photo challenge on instagram. That one is a lot easier because it doesn't really require too much thought process or time. Well, here goes nothing!
Day 1:
My name is Jay. Here's a recent photo
I'm supposed to give you 15 interesting facts about myself. Not sure how interesting they are but here's 15 facts about moi!
1. First & foremost, I'm a God-fearing woman. It doesn't get any better than that! I'm sure you will read about my spiritual journey in my other blogs.
2. I'm a mommy to a very charming & handsome 13 mo old son who fills each day with joy! It is often times a challenge but I wouldn't have it any other way.
3. I am American by birth but Southern by the grace of God! : ) I don't mean to brag, but there's nothing like a Georgia peach!
4. I'll be 25... Again. Lol. I'm a Leo & definitely am true to my sign as far as personality.
5. I love to write!! I have been writing lyrics/poetry since I was in elementary school. Now I am currently working on a manuscript.
6. I love to sing! My dream Jon would be being part of a Broadway show or on the cast of Glee <~~~ haha! I know, I know! Don't judge me.
7. I have a high level of loyalty but a low tolerance for bs. I've realized that life is too short to spend it upset or worried about people & things that you can't change. Pray for them & keep it moving.
8. I've been single for quite sometime now & I'm actually enjoying the time alone. I've learned a lot about myself. What I like. What I don't like. It has made dating a lot easier.
9. I have seen & done a lot in my short time here on Earth. Some good. Some not so good. But it has all contributed to the woman I've become.
10. I absolutely love the few people that I consider friends. They are my backbone at times. Not sure if I would be as strong today without some of them.
11. I'm not the most complex person in the world. I like to think that I'm one of the few women that are "simplistically sane". Maybe not.
12. It's proving to be a challenge to come up with 15 facts about myself.
13. I'm very eclectic. I love music so I listen to every genre. The only thing that I can't listen to a lot is grunge/heavy metal. It hurts my head.
14. I am trying to purchase my first home this year. So excited about it! I want my son to have a huge backyard to play in & a chocolate Labrador. Lol. Yes, I have it all planned out.
15. I'm going to have another baby in about 5 years, so maybe I should start dating now. *sigh* lol
~Jay
Day 1:
My name is Jay. Here's a recent photo
I'm supposed to give you 15 interesting facts about myself. Not sure how interesting they are but here's 15 facts about moi!
1. First & foremost, I'm a God-fearing woman. It doesn't get any better than that! I'm sure you will read about my spiritual journey in my other blogs.
2. I'm a mommy to a very charming & handsome 13 mo old son who fills each day with joy! It is often times a challenge but I wouldn't have it any other way.
3. I am American by birth but Southern by the grace of God! : ) I don't mean to brag, but there's nothing like a Georgia peach!
4. I'll be 25... Again. Lol. I'm a Leo & definitely am true to my sign as far as personality.
5. I love to write!! I have been writing lyrics/poetry since I was in elementary school. Now I am currently working on a manuscript.
6. I love to sing! My dream Jon would be being part of a Broadway show or on the cast of Glee <~~~ haha! I know, I know! Don't judge me.
7. I have a high level of loyalty but a low tolerance for bs. I've realized that life is too short to spend it upset or worried about people & things that you can't change. Pray for them & keep it moving.
8. I've been single for quite sometime now & I'm actually enjoying the time alone. I've learned a lot about myself. What I like. What I don't like. It has made dating a lot easier.
9. I have seen & done a lot in my short time here on Earth. Some good. Some not so good. But it has all contributed to the woman I've become.
10. I absolutely love the few people that I consider friends. They are my backbone at times. Not sure if I would be as strong today without some of them.
11. I'm not the most complex person in the world. I like to think that I'm one of the few women that are "simplistically sane". Maybe not.
12. It's proving to be a challenge to come up with 15 facts about myself.
13. I'm very eclectic. I love music so I listen to every genre. The only thing that I can't listen to a lot is grunge/heavy metal. It hurts my head.
14. I am trying to purchase my first home this year. So excited about it! I want my son to have a huge backyard to play in & a chocolate Labrador. Lol. Yes, I have it all planned out.
15. I'm going to have another baby in about 5 years, so maybe I should start dating now. *sigh* lol
~Jay
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