Go With Your Gut

Once at the hospital, I told them that after laboring for 48+ hrs, I no longer had the desire to do anything naturally. I wanted drugs & I wanted them NOW! It took a while for them to get me an epidural. In the meantime, I had to text my BD (who was working) in between contractions & tell him I was finally at the hospital to stay this time. I told him no rush because I was only at 2 cm & it was gonna take a while for me to dilate to 10. WRONG. I went from 2 to 7 in the next hour. Now my contractions were 2 minutes apart. Where the hell was that nurse with my epidural?! Finally, she came. I think getting an epidural is the hardest part of delivery. Having to sit completely still while having a contraction is extremely hard. I almost cried actually.

Once the epi was done, I was feeling great. Laughing & joking with my family & waiting on BD who was en route. Then, three nurses all came into my room at the same time & neither of them was my attending.
**********PAUSE********

If any of my readers are pregnant, pay close attention to what I am about to tell you. When one or two nurses are in your room, you're fine. When you get three to four at a time & they start doing things without talking to you first, SOMETHING IS WRONG!! My personal advice, although you may be frightened, trust your instincts & your nurses. They may not have time to explain everything to you at the time. So don't yell & scream at them to. Remember that in the 2 minutes it takes them to calm you down & explain, your Childs life could be in danger. Do whatever they ask in reason & let them do their jobs.

******** UNPAUSE*******

Ok, so these nurses all came in. One went straight to my monitor & iv drip & starting unhooking things. The other two came over to me and started turning me on different sides. Finally, they left & my attending nurse explained that after every contraction, my sons heart rate would drop & stay low. That's why they were turning me to keep his heart rate up. She explained that although I didn't want a C-section, there was a possibility that I would have one if I didn't dilate soon (I was stuck at 7 for a while). I started crying. At the point it no longer mattered if I was "woman" enough to have a natural birth or even a vaginal delivery. All that mattered was that my son made it through it all. My cousin said a prayer for me and my son & calmed me down. After all, the baby can feel everything mommy feels, right? This all happened before my BD arrived. I called him & told him to get there now because it looked like a C-section was coming. Also, his mom was about 45 minutes away headed to us (she lived almost 2hrs away). After my BD arrived, my dr came in, checked me (only 8 cms), & broke my water. PROBLEM: my water was green. Which means my son had his first bowel movement in my tummy. Not good. If he inhaled any, it could cause lung problems or he could die. Long story short, we push now or do a C-section. I opted to push. While the dr went to scrub up & get his tools, they made everyone leave but my mom & my BD. My BD's mom walked in the delivery room just as they were putting my legs up to push. Lol. What a sight to see when you walk in the door! So we pushed & pushed... About 15-20 minutes of pushing & VOILÀ!!! My amazingly beautiful son came into this crazy world screaming his head off. I didn't cry. I was exhausted but the minute they handed him to me, I forgot all about the pain, fatigue, stress, etc that proceeded seeing his face for the very first time. He stopped crying & opened his eyes as soon as i held him. That is a moment that I pray I will always remember.

SN: Ladies, always trust your maternal instincts. They will not steer you wrong. I am so glad that I went to my dr & had them keep me in the hospital instead of being embarrassed that I had been sent home twice. I knew something was wrong. If I had not gone, my son may not have made it. It is YOUR body, YOUR baby. Trust them.


~Flyymommyjay

Beautiful Pregnancy

From the moment I knew I was keeping this baby, I turned into supermommy. (Hence the name of the blog). I enrolled in several maternity programs, childbirth classes, looked into natural birthing centers, & breast-feeding classes. Of course, I also purchased the pregnancy "Bible"... What To Expect When You're Expecting <~~~ very informative. I am a planner, so waiting until I found out the sex was incredibly hard for me. But I did it. Right after we found out it was a boy (yay! We both wanted a boy.) I setup his crib & everything kind of fell into place.

My pregnancy was probably the best in human history from that point. I only gained 18 lbs. Woohoo!! I was all belly with gorgeous skin & hair. My heart arrhythmia just disappeared somehow & I worked up until my delivery.

************LABOR*********

So if you're an expecting mommy, skip this part. Lol. I don't want to add yet another horror story to the ones people have been so kind to share with you thus far. (btw, don't you just HATE that???) Sooo... I started having real contractions late Friday night after eating Taco Bell that my BD picked up for me. Greasy food will do it every time! Anyhoo, they were uncomfortable & stronger than Braxton Hicks but nothing unbearable. I started timing them anyway. They started coming five minutes apart so I went to the hospital as previously instructed by my physician. 80% effaced, dilated 1cm. They sent me home. The next night, the contractions REALLY started & they were pretty bad. So I went BACK to the hospital. They checked me. 100%, still only dilated 1 cm. Sent home again & they told me to come back when I feel like I've been hit by a truck. Sunday night, I felt like my son was trying to Kung Fu Panda his way out of my vagina. I tried EVERYTHING! Took a warm bath, did my breathing exercises, tried different positions. The only thing that helped even a little was getting on the floor on all fours & doing pelvic tilts. I was moaning & groaning the entire time. The contractions were 5 minutes apart but I couldn't go back up to the hospital... They just sent me home. After puking all night, i got up on Monday morning, & went straight to my dr. I told him the on call dr wouldn't keep me until Ive been hit by a truck but I'm not dilating. He called them and told them I've been hit by two trucks since I finally dilated to 2 cm after an entire weekend of contractions. I headed over to the hospital for a third & final time & got ready to meet my prince.


~Flyymommyjay

Decisions, decisions

So here I was stuck between a rock & a hard place. I wanted this baby but I knew I could not afford to care for & spoil a child the way that I would want to. And there was no way I was going to be with a man just because I was pregnant... At all. My siblings kept telling me that they would help any way they could. I knew that they were being honest. But I kept rationalizing it & saying how selfish I think it is for people to knowingly bring children into this world without being able to care for them. So, I called an abortion clinic, gave them my insurance info & had them quote me a price. While they were taking care of all that, a nurse from my doctor's office called & said she made an appt with a cardiologist because I had an abnormal heartbeat. O_o I've never had heart issues before... But because I was pregnant, they didn't want to risk anything.

Fast forward to the cardiologist. They made me wear a heat monitor for a day & ran every test they could think of... I was ok so they said it must be from the pregnancy. The abortion clinic called with a price the next day & set up an appt, but first they had to clear it with my cardiologist. He said no. They wanted to monitor me for the next few months & he could not clear me for any surgery with anesthesia until after three months. My decision was pretty much made at that time. I was keeping this baby... & I was happy about it. My heart skipped a beat... Literally. Now, I just had to get on my grind & have everything in place before they got here.

~Flyymommyjay

So It Starts... Part II

... Where was I?? Oh. Positive pregnant test. Crying and all that good stuff.

Well, I broke the news to my BD over the phone. Ha. In my own defense, he was out of town for a few days & I was freaking out about what to do. There was no way I could keep that info secret until he got back. Anyhoo, long story short, we talked, argued, etc & both agreed that we couldn't keep this baby. Neither of us were ready for a child at the time. So, as much as I didn't want to have an abortion... We decided it would be best for everyone. In the meantime, I set up a prenatal appt just to confirm the pregnancy.

At my first appt, I just expected them to check everything out, get my vitals & all that jazz. I DID NOT KNOW I WAS GETTING AN ULTRASOUND! So I'm laying on the table, the doctor is showing me the baby on the screen. At the time, he was pretty much just a little pea sized blob. I'm a very nonchalant person, so seeing the image didn't really change my mind... I was still set on the abortion. BUT... then my doctor turned up the Doppler & I heard my sons heartbeat for the first time. It was very strong & sounded like a herd of horses. That did it for me. But the practical side of me still needed some convincing.


~Flyymommyjay

So it starts...

So this first blog may be a bit controversial. With that said, if u are an extremely judgmental person... Please refrain from commenting. Your opinion is not necessary. Thank you in advance.

So, I guess I have to start with finding out I was going to be a mommy, huh? Ok. I was having a long-winded conversation about this guy I was "seeing" (my now BD). In the middle of this talk, my then 5 yr old nephew ran past me & down the hallway. He runs back up to me, pokes me in my perfectly flat stomach & says "There's a baby in your belly." My first thought was, this kid is too funny until I realized "oh crap. My period didn't come on yesterday." *cues the horror film scream* Like most women, I just brushed it off as being due to stress... Definitely had a lot of that at the time. But just to be on the safe side, I went to Target & purchased a two-pack of digital ClearBlue pregnancy tests. It was on sale & there was no point in buying an expensive test because #1- I wasn't pregnant & #2- I was only a day late, so it was too early to tell, right? WRONG.

I didn't tell my BD that I even thought I might be because there was no point in stressing him when I wasn't (completely in denial). So, 3 a.m., I walk to the bathroom w/one eye open, pregnancy stick in hand. Do my thing & wait an excruciating 5 minutes. And there it was. PREGNANT. No faint lines to decipher. Just.... PREGNANT. That definitely woke me up. This is the part of the story where every mother will tell you that they got super excited & did a happy dance.... They're lying. I cried. Hard. Then when I was done wiping the snot off my face, I went & grabbed the other test. You know, because there's that 2% chance that I got a false positive from the first one. and once again... Jackpot. PREGNANT. I had no clue what I was gonna do at the time, but I knew any decision would be a tough one to make.